Clive St James
More information
Humorous after dinner & keynote speeches from the UK's most famous driving instructor entitled... "when I hit the dashboard"



 

Clive has been teaching people to drive for over forty years. His breadth of experience, understanding and special teaching skills have drawn people from all walks of life to seek his help from very private indivduals to well known names in entertainment, business and politics. Some have struggled with severe physical or emotional disabilities but with his help have resulted in becoming completely self sufficient on the road. Others who developed phobias or  had experienced rare accidents which damaged their road confidence to alarming degrees and yet with patience and highly skilled training have re-tested and become happy competent drivers again


Some of the more light-hearted problems will be remembered by their rather unfortunate TV or press coverage.  For example the chap who accidently drove into his own swimming pool or the lady who took a wrong turn and drove along a railway line (the wrong way).  The girl who parked her car in a B&Q car park and took a bus to work as she was terrified to negotiate a
roundabout. Another unfortunate learner who spent over £20,000 on lessons and was unlucky enough to hit a police car on one of their many driving tests.

                                      The list just goes on and on!

 

 

 

 TV Motoring Credits (just a few)

The One Show - Can a car be funnier than a man?

Celebrity Driving School - Teaching Celebs for Comic Relief Jade Goody, Simon Day etc.

Big Breakfast - Dealing with road rage (Carobics)

Big Breakfast - Gabby's 'World Record' Driving Challange

Big Breakfast - Secrets of a great driver

John Stapleton Show - As the driving expert

Fred Dineage  ITV News - Nick, over 70, passes test first time

Fred Dineage ITV News - Guinness World Record Drive (live)

Fred Dineage ITV News - The art of driving a Limousine

Crash Documentry - Road Safety Expert (commentary driving)

Sky News - Driving Expert "L" on Wheels funny motoring Stories

BBC Lunchtime News - Driving Expert Safety Belts

GMTV - Clive teaching on Live TV to solve Penny's cronic fear of roundabouts (keeping you'r eyes open is a great tip)

House Busters - Russell Grant - How where you live affects your driving

 

 

 

                                        The After Dinner Speech

 Fasten your safety belts - this is going to be a bumpy ride as Clive takes you through a forty minute driving test. But what kind of test?

 In the army he taught squadies to drive tanks and trucks. New international war zone reporters have learned his escape and evasion techniques. "Brentford Triangle" author Robert Rankin's wife threatened him so severely that he sought Clive out in a last ditch attempt to pass his test. And then there was the man who would only take his test in a Rolls Royce, a diamond dealer who thought it would improve his chances of passing it in St John's Wood...

 Such is the scope of Clive's experience, the horror stories and the fun during his exceptional motoring career that you will have a wealth of adventures, anecdotes and hysterical moments to share with friends long after the event.

Clive won a Toastmasters International (area) humorous speech contest with his tales of Joyce who failed her driving test for coliding with a canoe...need I say more?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                              The Magic in Motoring

Clive is a triple world record holder. He became the first motorist to hold all the driving licence groups in 1995 from a tank to a steam roller, a motor bike to an articulated lorry, from a mini bus to a double decker. Then there are the advanced driving tests and courses and did we mention he was also an examiner for the National Advanced Driving Association?

He is also a double Guinness World Record holder in comedy and magic. So, when you book Clive for your after dinner entertainment, you could have him perform close-up magic around the tables in between courses and there's always some magic added during his after dinner speech to test your observation skills!

At the long awaited  launch of the 5 Series BMW at the Sir Alfred McAlpine Stadium, Clive took a VIP party from the reception room into the stands where there was a large fire work display. The finale was the star car appearing to a loud cheer, only to disappear to the sound of groans of "too soon"in the blackness that followed. However as the guests went back in to the reception room, to their delight they found the car had appeared there seconds later and three stories up. Now that's what they called magic! 

Clive also spoke at the Labour party conference in Coventry when they celebrated 100 years of motoring.  Christine Oddy M.E.P. asked him to be their special guest having been taught to drive by Clive in a 7 week intensive course (it only started out as a one week course).

Pat Harris of BUSK (Belt up School Kids) booked Clive for an amusing finale at the Cardiff International Arena for their special awards dinner. Little known to the assembly they had pre-arranged for Clive to 'dish the dirt' (Pat's words) on various driving mis-adventures of CEO's and other senior members of the audience to the glee of their staff and associates.

 

   

                                         The Keynote Speech

Man and the modern day motor car are not compatible. If an alien species were to be observing us from afar they could be forgiven for thinking that the car was the superior being rather than man.

Why? Because we lovingly clean them, feed them, worship them, even watch films and TV programs about them.

Yet these cars then drive off and mow people down like some sort of blood sport. Not only on race tracks but on the road, every week, 70 lives are lost to motoring accidents. There are few of us who haven't been touched at some time or another by a traffic accident either involving ourselves or our loved ones. Millions of man hours are also lost every year through injuries.

   

Clive has been teaching the dark art of advanced driving for forty years. Since he started, serious road casualties have gone down by a third. He doesn't take full responsibilty for this reduction but has helped the cause along the way with his unique approach.

At your event Clive's aim is to give your delegates lots of advanced tips on motoring in a fun way to keep themselves safe on the road. If driving is part of their job then the importance is even greater given the number of hours they will spend at the wheel. His main subjects include road rage, roundabouts and reversing (the three dreaded R's) and updates on the  high-way code...all of which will be tailored to the occasion. We can even arrange some mock driving tests during the day for the MD/CEO with results given to the whole audience in the evening...always a favourite!  Clive holds a City & Guilds in Health & Safety and a Diploma in Performance Coaching and Certificate of Professtional Confidence for Road Haulage and Passenger Transport (International).

 

 

     
   

 

   

 

     
     
 O  

               Toby Milton Licensed to Thrill...

"I can't feed myself but I can drive in Top Gear"

Despite spending two months in a coma and loosing a lot of muscle mass I easily got back into my work however I was terrified of driving my car again! I'm well versed in the subject of 'fear' in so far as helping my own Execuitve Coaching clients but couldn't seem to conquer it myself! In the months that followed I learnt a valuable lesson in tackling fear head on and how we often need others to help us out of a predicament. Passing my driving test is one of my proudest achievements given my muscle weekness from Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA) and I wasn't prepared to admit defeat. Here's my story on perseverance, pride and encouragement from friends.

Mirror, Signal, Manoeuvre

I have muscle wasting disability called Spinal Muscular Atrophy and I drive a high-tech adapted vehicle from my wheelchair. Using similar technology as "fly by wire" found in aeroplanes, I drive the car with a four way drive joy-stick, which controls the steering, breaking and accelerating in one. I have a thumb-switch on the joystick that operates all my secondary controls like light beam, indicaters and horn. I drive my wheelchair through the back door and up a ramp, which opens and closes electronically at the touch of a button. Once inside my wheelchair locks into a docking system in the drivers position. As you may imagine, this technology isn't cheap so thankfully the Motability scheme leases the vehicle to me, which allows me to travel independently for my work and to visit my friends and family.

Wrong Gear

I began to learn to drive at university but started in the wrong gear. On my first lesson a white van rear ended me at a roundabout. It was such a slow speed that very little damage was made and the driver accepted liability immediately. Later that week however my driving instructors "ambulance chasers" called me up demanding money for his servere whiplash, internal bruising and loss of earnings. I myself have two metal rods down the length of my spine - yet I suffered no pain from the impact. Needless to say, the instructor didn't receive a penny and we didn't have a second lesson.

 

   

 First Gear

 I moved to London to work for British Airways where I met Clive. Dubious about driving instructors it was such a relief when Clive wasn't phased at all by my dubious driving controls. From the outset Clive taught me advanced driving techniques, which later on allowed me to pass my 'Advanced Institute of Motorists  (AIM) test. Clive's experience in the Army and his teaching of defensive driving strategies helped me get my positioning, pace and manoeuvres down to a T junction (excuse the gun, I mean pun). Jokingly, whenever I messed up a manoeuvre (usually reversing around a corner) Clive quipped that I should do wheel laps around my car where his army subordinates were once ordered to do press-ups. Thats the thing about Clive he has such a brilliant sense of humour,   he made every lesson so enjoyable that he eased my anxiousness amongst the bedlam of London traffic.

Emergency Stop

I enjoyed many years of safe driving thanks to the skills that Clive taught me, however, a fight for my life in 2010 severely affected my driving.  On April Fool's Day a chest infection got out of control and then with a bleed on the brain the infection got out of control and I slipped into a coma for two months on life support. With my organs failing, Doctors weren't hopeful having tried everything they could do to try and keep me alive. The Doctors called my Mum back into the hospital to tell her they doubted that I'd make it through another night; however my stubborness pulled me through. Consequently I lost a lot of muscle strength lying sedentary for so many weeks. This just compounded the already low muscle mass I had before this episode.  Along with the muscle weakness I lost a lot of confidence too. My vehicle needed to be readjusted given the change in my circumstances yet I still couldn't bear being at the controls of a powerful machine. Getting ever more frustrated with my restricted independence I needed help.  In my opinion there was just one man for the job - that man is Clive.

Shape Up or Ship Out 

I spent a day with Clive driving around London and on a dual carriageway to shake the cobwebs off my car (literally speaking!) I got a lot of my confidence back as Clive helped me to see that a lot of it was down to my mindset rather than the lesser strength of my arms and hands. With Clive's encouragement I realised that I hadn't lost my driving aptitude and I am as safe as ever. 

 "Clive was the best driving instructor I could ever have wished for. Whenever I am in a quandry I just think what would Clive have said... he will forever be my virtual driving buddy"

 

 

 

                                       Many THANKS Toby

 

 

 

What I will always remember about you Toby was when meeting you for a driving lesson you would watch out for me and on sight, come bombing out of your flat in the fastest wheelchair that I had ever seen. You would be heading towards the back of your van, pressing your remote control to bring the ramp down, the back door opening and your good self in behind the steering wheel in a flash, your timing surperb. One second out and you would have been propelled straight into that back door.

The Mercedes Sprinter van that we spent many happy learning hours in was the size of a mini bus. There are many so called experienced drivers that are not confident to handle one of these but for you it was just another thing that you took in your stride.

Toby I would like to mention your younger brother Sam who also has SMA and who I also taught to drive. One day I was chatting with Sam who asked me how you fared at manouvering excercises. I told him that you were pretty good and then Sam told me the Ben Hur story about you. He said when the pair of you were a lot younger and still at home that you used to have friendly fights in your wheel chairs (as all young boys do). Like young gladiators in your charriots you would do battle by pushing each other around with ever increasing impact until on one occasion your brother was toppling over and you were backing up for the final charge which would have crashed his wheel chair completely over. Hearing the commotion suddenly your mother appeared and without hesitation boxed your ears until you managed to deftly manouvre yourself out of her range.